The usual responses a bereaved person may experience are:
PHYSICAL RESPONSES:
Shock/numbness
Tightness in the chest/throat.
A dry throat.
Hollowness in the stomach.
Over sensitive to noise
Breathlessness
Sleeplessness
Tiredness/loss of energy.
Poor appetite/over eating.
A sense of disconnectedness
EMOTIONAL RESPONSES:
Searching – visiting places that remind one of the deceased person.
Avoidance – not wanting to be reminded of the dead person.
Restlessness – becoming overactive. Trying to keep busy.
Relief – That suffering is ended.
FEELINGS OF GRIEF:
Sadness – Feeling down, depressed. Feeling helpless.
Anger – at a range of people, e.g., the medical people, family, God, the deceased.
Guilt – All the “if onlys”.
Anxiety – about the future, about ones health.
OTHER RESPONSES:
Disbelief – a refusal to believe what one has been told or seen.
Confusion – difficulties in remembering things, poor concentration, feeling disorganised.
Preoccupation – going over and over the Story of the death.
Bargaining – thinking of ways of getting the dead person back.
All or some of these responses may be experienced and may cause difficulties in the daily lives of the bereaved.
There is no right or wrong way to grieve. Everyone has to go through a painful process until the bereaved person can adjust to a “different world” in which the bereaved person is missing. The bereaved have to try to relocate the loved one in “a safe place” in their life, and also find ways to remember the deceased.
